I have been working on other stuff which will hopefully be worthwhile, as there's so much to do! But I think these caps are fine, if not feel free to tell me otherwise as I was in this sort of positive mood.
Finally Went Out (MtF, Accident)
Danielle's heart was thumping so hard it felt like it would leap out of her chest. She had spent the last couple weeks cooped cup in her house, never leaving, buying everything on the internet and paying for it by card, never fully opening her door for anyone to see her, barely enough to take her packages. But after getting fed up with herself she decided to take control of her life, getting a pair of slippers, old sport pants and a long-sleeved shirt that her sister had left last time she had stayed, it was such a weird one as the sleeves were the only long thing, leaving her stomach uncovered for all to see… but as it was the only shirt that fit her now it would have to do.
Walking to the convenience store that was close-by, feeling the stares of everyone around piercing holes on her back, butt and face. She had never felt so embarrassed or ashamed before in her life, but she needed to get used to it… there wasn’t anything else to do but put up with it and man up. Entering the store and picking a basket to place her items, having to bend over to pick it up, she could have sworn she heard a camera going off, yet she didn’t see anyone with a phone or camera after turning around, though she knew no guy would be as dumb to still be there after taking a sneak shot. Sighing before walking down the aisles, picking the stuff she needed, before reaching the bakery section, all these things that she had always loved and wished to try making herself but she hadn’t been able to as everyone would mock her for acting so feminine and unfitting for someone like her, but considering her situation this should be allowed now… shouldn’t it?
She grabbed a bunch, filling the basket with them before heading to the cashier. The man barely said anything as he scanned the products, glancing at Danielle every now and then, not being the most subtle about it, but by this point she felt a bit more calm with it. As the cashier told her the amount she took her wallet out to pay, grabbing the money but as she did her Driver’s License fell on top of the counter. The man grabbed it so fast that Danielle couldn’t react at all, the man smiled while raising it up towards her as if to hand it to her but getting her name and address as he did. “Here you are Miss Daniel… Stern….” The man’s voice and expression changed as he read the name and noticed the bald and hulking man on the picture, recognizing him as the car mechanic that had been in an accident last month.
Danielle blushed hard, snatching the Driver’s License from the man’s hand and dropping the money on the counter before darting out of the place, almost losing her balance from swinging the bags while speed walking on slippers. There was no way she could ever show herself there again, having to call her sister to drive her to another convenience store in town, as her car was totalled in the accident that caused the changes to her body and life.
Day one of life adaptation.
So… my doctor suggested that I write down how I feel with all this…
After all it’s not everyday that you are driving the company truck, moving some “top secret project” to another facility and the thing spontaneously combusts and blows up, destroying the truck and all the cars around at the time, yet killing no one… instead causing us to be “infected” with whatever was the project, slowly producing changes to our bodies… until we looked nothing like our old male selves did.
The company had to pay for the damage caused to all of us and the city, which they did surprisingly though with a small clause… which has us report or call one of their doctors to check up on us and whether we experienced any other changes. Considering they were the ones responsible for this, it made sense they would be the only ones who could tell what was the thing and how to use the studies, so we all agreed and settled it outside of court.
But that is too much info for a first entry I guess… so all I can say is, I need new clothes and this sucks bad…
Day three
So… forgot to do one yesterday… great start I know… but it’s not like there was much to say, spent the day learning how to take care of my new body… the amount of things women have to do is insane, from taking care of your hair, unwanted body hair, makeup and clothes… OH MY GOD! The clothes… I spent over three hours trying on clothes one after the other, like there was no end to it. I would have preferred to buy some sweat pants and shirts, but my mom had other ideas, had me get everything from cute tops to short skirts, hot pants, tight jeans, pullovers, heels, flats, gym pants, dresses, it was just never ending… though I must admit some of them were actually pretty… and they did feel nice as I wore them.... But anyways, I’m not telling any of that to anyone else… after all, who knows when I will turn back into a man…
Day seven
So… a full week has gone by! And as such I thought it made sense to write here again! So much to catch on! I have been getting better at this whole dressing up thing, feeling better about my appearance even outside, people tend to look my way and smile back when I do! It’s weird to think I can do things like that without looking like a creep or something… also a new guy moved next door. His name’s Eric and he is quite the attractive man… doesn’t take one to be gay to notice that, plus he has been really cool about everything, even after I told him all about me and how I was in that accident that appeared on the news. He said that all that mattered was that I was fine with myself and that he would help me if I ever needed anything, so sweet, I’m sure he must have banged lots of women with those words, and it must be second nature to him as he said it without any thought to the fact that I used to be a man and he knew, but regardless gonna be hanging out with him tomorrow, watch a game, drink some beers, some good old fun that I could really use...
================================================================
Day ten
Can’t believe I’m still doing this but whatever, not like I have much else to do… had my weekly check up with the doc… everything perfect… they have no idea how to turn me back… totally expected so I called Eric to hang out again, went to a pool parlour… kicked his ass into oblivion, had a few laughs and drank some more… one would think that they would forbid me from drinking alcohol or any substances like that but considering they have nothing to work with they are banking on anything having some reaction that gives them a clue, instead saying I’m as healthy as I could be and that there are no traces of anything, pondering on the possibility things just don’t affect me as they used to and I’m healthier than ever before… so cheers to that I say! Also called my mom to let her know I was fine and all… these last few days I have only been talking with three people and while I kinda want to be more outgoing, I also think it’s fine to keep being just Eric and me on our night outs, after all, neither of us has other friends around.
Day fifteen
OH MY GOD! I just can’t believe what happened! Like, first thing I know I’m there with Eric, having fun like we do, drinking and telling each other terrible jokes, making fun of our awful jobs despite the fact I am living off the settlement money I got, and then I tried to walk to the bathroom, Eric raising his legs to be a funny dick, I tried to walk over them but in my tipsy state I tripped and fell on top of him, hitting him on the ribs, yet instead of being apologetic or caring for it, we both burst out laughing, my head burrowed on his chest to muffle my awful laugh while he got his arms around me, telling me I was hurting his ribs… as I hoisted my head from his chest and my face was so close to his we stared into each other’s eyes and I… felt something I had never felt before, like I wanted to give myself to the moment and without realizing I kissed him!
When I came to his eyes were still closed, enjoying the kiss as much as me! I was so taken aback I jumped off him and grabbed my shoes before leaving, I have no idea what I said to him as I did… taking this diary and writing on it to help me understand what I just did! It was so weird and dumb! So so so dumb! And it had to be with Eric, who knows full well I used to be a guy! Once he sobers up he will be so pissed… he might break up our friendship… and all because I’m such a moron when I drink… though I can’t stop thinking about how good that kiss felt...
=================================================================
Day twenty
So… had my check up with the doctor…. and told her everything… about what I have been doing, how I have felt and about Eric… she was so surprised when I told her how I felt about him, asking me if I had ever been attracted to men before, if I thought this was part of the changes and honestly… I didn’t know… I had been running from Eric for the last days, always leaving before he arrived and returning once he was gone to his work, messing my schedule worse than ever before…
He messaged me, asking to meet up, but I didn’t want to go… it would be too much for me if he tossed me aside… if he told me he didn’t want to have anything to do with me ever again… it got so bad I called my mom and fessed up everything, her voice went from joy to caring and understanding, giving me words of encouragement I honestly never expected to get from her… then he called once more and after being assured by my mom so much... I took the call, we chatted for a bit, catching up without either saying anything about it, until he asked to see me… I doubted myself, trying to think of a way out… but finally cave in and agreed on a date tomorrow… I don’t know what will happen but I’m so nervous I can’t sleep at all…
Day Twenty two
I guess this will be my last entry into this diary as I don’t think it’s what I need anymore, though I must admit getting my thoughts together in written form helped me way more than I would have expected when the doctor suggested it to me, but I have to stop now, for I have no more use for this anymore, since I now have the doctor, Miss Tessmaker, my mom… and the love of my life, Eric to listen to me.
The date went so well, I entered expecting him to be upset, yet he was beaming at the sight of me, making it clear from the moment I sat down he wanted to make things straight between us, telling me he was fine with my past but that he would prefer to be part of my future… our future… together… it just melted me so badly… We left the dinner and went back home, spending the rest of the day sharing our love with one another, it was like nothing I had ever experienced…
Waking up besides Eric, sleeping all night as he embraced me, it made me happier than ever before… we then talked about it during breakfast and we agreed on moving in together, trying things out before taking the next step which he had already thought about, but I suggested we waited a bit, if only so people could get used to calling me Naomi before attending our wedding!
But there’s still time before that happens, so I’m handing my diary to the doctor, so she can show it to others who are going through this, so they know that the accident wasn’t the end of their lives… but the start of a new one… which could be happier than the one they had just like mine is.
No comments:
Post a Comment